Friday, January 8, 2016

Life is like a Box of Chocolates

You never know what you're going to get, do you?

One day everything is all drama-filled and angsty (I'm making up words now...), and the next you settle into something resembling a routine, and everyone is happy.

This is my life.  There are currently THREE teenagers that call this house home, as well as one pre-teen and one "young adult."  FOUR of those are girls.  Ahem.  It's all crazy up in here.  Thank goodness the dog is male.

Today was a good day.  No one cried (that I know of).  No one threatened to run away.  No one said that they hated me, or Jason.  Aspersions WERE thrown around about living in Massachusetts, but the things *I* say aren't what is being discussed right now.  One child worked tonight.  Two children went shopping and out to dinner.  Movie night was had.  Everyone got home safely and took themselves off to their rooms without fussing about bedtime.

Ahhhh....these are the days we dreamed of when they were little and protested loudly every time we discussed sleep or bed.  They clean their own rooms.  They put away their own laundry.  No one needs help bathing, or pooping, or getting dressed...well, the girls DO consult with each other about clothes regularly...and there are regular fusses over who is wearing what...but *I* don't have to dress anyone but myself, or bathe anyone else, or attend to any other bodily functions other than my own.

The thing is...sometimes I miss being needed like that.  Because with that level of need, there was also a level of affection that happened.  There were always snuggles and kisses and hugs.  Now, I am lucky if I get a hug before they leave for school or before they head to bed.  I miss them fitting in my lap.  Sometimes they still try to sit with me, but there are awkward legs and arms hanging out's just not the same.

I miss the baby smell, and sweet baby breath.  I miss the cute tiny clothes and the socks that would never stay on their little feet.  I miss being able to wrap them in soft little blankets that completely engulfed their little bodies.

Those things I miss are some of what I hold onto on the days when things are hard...pulling out those cream-filled chocolates to help get the hard stuff down.  It helped that one of them brought home bonbons tonight, too...Yum.  Perks of hanging out in the mall, and children that used to work at the chocolate store...

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