Sunday, October 11, 2020

Coronavirus (aka Covid-19) and social distancing

March 15, 2020

We're trying to figure out what this next week will look like.  Frankly, it feels like the whole world has gone crazy.  Schools are closed across the country.  Every teacher and professor in the country is scrambling to adapt to an online format.  Except the homeschoolers...this is old hat for them/us...well, except for the world-ending, dystopian feel of everything. 

We enjoyed a day at home today...and by "WE", I mean *I* have enjoyed the day at home.  Jason went to work, and the kids have suffered through no church or youth activities or work or school.  I'm pretty sure they're going to be having mental breakdowns soon.  Until then, we've done laundry, and there was a Guitar Hero competition...and now there's some kind of card game happening.  I also made and canned bone broth, and also have enjoyed church online, and a virtual acoustic concert with an artist friend from Boston. 

There are all kinds of looming changes for all of us...things that are too big and nebulous to specify, but that will definitely affect us. 

Meanwhile, I am following so many friends in so many different areas

October 11, 2020

So much water under the bridge.  

Today I went back to church for the first time since March.  It was strange.  And SO good.  
In July I was fired from one job after filing for partial unemployment.  
My other job picked up the slack, promoted me, and made me full-time. 

Jason had surgery to reconstruct his foot, damaged by years of running, to the point where it was collapsing on itself.  He is now almost two weeks into recovery, and 4 weeks out from going on terminal leave from the Navy.  He has his first follow-up appointment on Tuesday and has been working on his resume and trying to find a job.  

Justin and Leah are isolating at home, awaiting test results for COVID exposures from work.  Both are at Millikin as students and have emailed their professors to let them know that they won't be in tomorrow.  

Heather is sick...she's in Carbondale, and she is also awaiting results of COVID testing.  

I am struggling to know where to go from here.  So much of my life is up in the air, and I feel like I am living in some strange suspended animation, looking around, trying to figure out where we will land.  While the whole world is trying to navigate life in the middle of a pandemic, we have the added level of trying to figure out jobs, moves, and life after the military.  It feels overwhelming to me, and I don't know where to start.  

I have tried processing with my counselor, and her advice is to just focus on what is here and now.  Which feels like a cop-out.  Like, I know there are things that I need to get done prior to any potential move, no matter when it happens.  I have to shred mail/trash.  I have to sort things that have been moving with us, and get rid of a LOT of things.  Right now, I have no time.  I need to take two children to do their driving tests and get their licenses.  Work still rolls on, no matter what else is going on.  The dog needs a haircut.  I need to study for my licensure exam.  I need to finish registering for that.  Laundry and dishes and toilets and vacuuming and sweeping and driving and sleep....all need to happen.  And cooking and shopping and cleaning up.  

I wish I had been able to enjoy the extended time at home that so many seem to have had.  I have worked regularly all the way through.  I am tired.  And overwhelmed.  And sad.  And frankly, probably healthier than I have been in years.  I am tired of being socially distanced so far that no one checks up on ME.  No one has called me to see how I am.  I get that everyone is busy.  These are some crazy times.  I guess I am just tired of feeling responsible for all of the communication that happens with other people in my life, and rarely do others extend that same level of communication/concern to me, and that makes me feel sad and alone.  

Heading back to my suspended animation, where the husband is busy playing the same football game he has been playing on repeat for the last few years since they haven't made a new season.... At least football is back on TV now!!  

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