Sunday, January 27, 2019

Dark Times require REST

This evening I am feeling discouraged about the direction of our country. 

On social media, I see bitterness, and division, and anger, and hurt, and fear...SO.MUCH.FEAR.  I also see hatred...especially present in conjunction with fear. 

I see this happening on all sides in politics, and in many different religious environments, and it is so sad to me. 

I was talking this evening with a young lady about taking on emotions from other people and from the movies we see, and the TV shows we watch....and I just realized that I am taking on the emotions of those I cross paths with on social media. 

IT. IS. EXHAUSTING. 

Our pastor did a good job this weekend speaking on one of the topics of current interest, and it is always good to see when God times things like this out...He knows what He is doing, and THAT is encouraging. 

I'm thinking I just need a break...this is something that happens regularly enough that I am recognizing the signs of my needing to back away from the hype, and the beating of war drums, and the yelling louder and louder, because those in the back of the room are deafened by all of it. 

Meanwhile, I have to be able to keep functioning in this real world in which I live....
...the one where my children still need clean, dry clothes, and food to eat, and a warm house in which to live. 
...the one where parents lose their edge as they age, and end up in hospitals.
...the one where friends also get discouraged, and need my presence more than more words. 
...the one where I have responsibilities that do not allow for a day (or week) of mental health time-off.
...the one where creativity is healing...and where I haven't had time or energy to create in far-too-long.
...the world where God has things to say to me that He doesn't say through short memes on social media. 

So, I think I am going to go take a sabbatical.  I wish I could do it for work, and life...but this time it will just have to be for social media.  Because I am giving myself permission to REST...to HEAL..to REJUVENATE. 

I'll be back.  I don't know when...because I know I need a LOT of rest.  But I WILL be back. 

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

Brutally Honest (and LATE) Christmas Letter

 I came across a challenge that really resonated with me, so I am going to attempt to rise to meet that challenge.  The spirit of the challenge is to be brutally honest with the Christmas letter, instead of creating a fictional front.  Soooo....in that spirit....

PAXTON FAMILY 2018 CHRISTMAS LETTER

2018 has been a strange mix of hard and wonderful.

Our year started with the whole family still in Massachusetts, due to the fact that the Navy couldn't make a decision.  The movers came on January 10, 11, 12...and Jason and Justin took the dog, and left and drove to Illinois since Jason had to be there to take the advancement exam (Spoiler: he didn't pass).  This left Laura, Heather, Leah, and Katherine still in MA, watching men pack, guarding Jason's baby (the Harley-Davidson, for the uninitiated), cleaning the now-empty house, breaking down the garden shed no-one wanted, and camping out with friends.  The highlights included Jason finding an amazing church the first weekend in IL, God having provided a GREAT house, Laura and the girls driving through the night in a blizzard that closed I80, spending a night in OH with friends, and arriving at our new home on January 16th.  Most of the rest of the month was spent unpacking and setting up the house.  We also learned that our children could NOT go to school in the district we thought we were in (off by something like 5 houses!), but were instead supposed to put them into one of the crappiest schools I have ever seen rated...so we are homeschooling.  (Cue unhappy 10th-grader).  Justin was finishing his classes via an online program through his school in MA.

February saw me starting back at Walmart in a job I never wanted to have again, working overnights on the remodel crew, which lasted into May, and I was able to translate that into a job working as a cashier...still don't want to be there, but it is helping pay the bills.   The kids started making friends in the homeschool group and church group.

Image may contain: 5 people, including Heather Lorraine and Ben Boisture, people smiling, people standing
In March, Justin took his SAT in Champaign.

In April, we had some wonderful visitors for Spring Break.






In May, the remodel was completed, and I celebrated by moving to days and starting working as a Cashier.  Frances also graduated from Gordon College and celebrated by flying to Spain the next day for a summer Spanish intensive.









In June, the kids and Laura drove to MA for Justin's high school graduation.  We stayed with friends, and got to see Nick and to hang out in familiar places with more friends.  Justin successfully graduated, and we drove back to Illinois.

In July, Frances came back from a very eventful time in Spain, having traveled, and seen the country, been hospitalized, had surgery, delayed her return home, and finally arrived home...to travel again a week later...after having Heather to dinner during HER visit to MA to spend time with friends.  Then Frances and Nick, and Jon all came to Illinois for the Shipp family reunion...which Heather was supposed to attend too, but ended up spending 24+ hours in the airport in New Jersey due to crappy weather.

August started with ALL of the kids here in Illinois and ended with everyone back to work in their various places.  Leah began a brand new adventure, taking dual-enrollment classes through the local community college, as well as her homeschool work for 11th grade.  Justin began training as a shift lead at work.  Katherine started her new school year...as a 9th grader.  Heather's job moved to another store, in another town, working as a co-manager of the Journey store there.  Also in August, Laura was reminded again that she was pre-diabetic, and finally figured out what to do about it (why no-one could tell me for the prior 10 years how to make any changes is a subject for another dissertation...).

We also learned that we will be grandparents in April...

September, October, and November are a bit of a blur.  Everyone worked their butts off.  Katherine and Leah attended to all of their school work, along with the requisite fussing by parents to complete homework and do household chores.  There were doctors' appointments for Laura, and adjustments in medications which resulted in more energy, better sleep, and other subtle signs of improving health. The dog went in and out with regularity, which is more than can be said for the rest of the couples represented.  Laura and Jason did KETO...Laura lost 30 pounds, and Jason lost 10 pounds.  Jason traveled for work and saw friends; Laura traveled to see friends and make plans for the future.  Heather turned 21, and we celebrated.  Thanksgiving happened, and we celebrated.

And then it was December.... and it was ALL about celebrating...Nana's birthday, Uncle's birthday, Katherine's birthday, Cousin's birthday, great-grandfather's birthday, another Uncle's birthday, an Aunt's birthday, Sissy's birthday, Jesus' birthday...  ALLL the celebrations.  There have been parties, and gifts, and cookies, and pies, and lots of time with friends.

And then December 27th happened, 11 years after my mother's heart attack and subsequent triple bypass surgery, my mother failed to wake up, and ended up in the hospital again, this time in a short-term diabetic coma.  And Laura and Katherine left, on New Year's Eve, for South Carolina. 

What a year!!  Moving, and job changes, and health stuff...oh my!!  We are glad to see 2018 in the rear-view...and excited to see what 2019 has in store for us!!