I was just re-reading an article by another military spouse, and one sentence she used jumped off the page at me:
I find myself identifying with her words.
I'm weary of the military life, and yet I am proud to be a military spouse.
I'm weary of moving, but start feeling claustrophobic and anxious to move if we've been in one spot for too long.
I'm weary of everything being identified by my husband's military service, when I am a person too, and have things to do that are important and make a difference.
I'm weary of the opportunities missed because we move so much.
I'm weary of the friendships that haven't gone deep because we haven't had time for that to happen.
I'm weary of feeling like I don't matter...only he matters.
I'm weary of fighting to get things done that should be easily accomplished.
I'm weary of having to explain everything all over again to a new doctor/dentist/physical therapist/counselor, etc.
I'm weary of being the "new kid" at church, at work, everywhere....
I'm weary of starting over, and over, and over, and over.....
I'm weary of feeling like all of this is somehow my fault...like I should either "suck it up", or make him get out...
I'm weary of being measured against the wrong standards every stinking time...and coming up wanting.
I'm weary of being weary, and not feeling like I can be honest about it because I am going to get flack from EVERYONE any time I say the actual truth. There's so much more...but I already can hear the push-back from what I have said so far...and I can't deal with it because I'm weary.