Saturday, May 21, 2016

Feeling Overwhelmed

I started working as a therapist in a very needy community nearby almost two months ago.  I am finding that every day I am exhausted, and that my emotions are all over the place.  The training I went to yesterday left me feeling awkward and out of place...not a new feeling, but I thought I had THAT settled away...guess not.  

Meanwhile, there is SO MUCH going on here on the home-front.  

Child #3 graduates from high school on June 2.  

The in-laws come into town this coming Thursday.  Friday will be a day off of work for me, so I have to see all of my clients in 4 days next week, too.  Saturday we're going on a tour in the city.  Sunday is church, and then the in-laws fly back out on Monday, and our #2 child flies in that same day, to be in town through the following Saturday.  That week will also be a 4-day week for me, so 4 VERY-PACKED days.  We're also having family pictures done on Thursday, since all of the kids will be here, and Thursday night is the all-night graduation party for the seniors.  

Additionally, we're making plans for camp for 3 kids, 2 kids are being camp counselors, and 1 kid is going on a ministry trip to Guatemala this summer.  

Again, I'm feeling overwhelmed.  I am starting to wonder if jumping into working full-time was a good idea.  There are things that are not getting done at the house (cleaning, dishes, vacuuming, anyone?!?), and I can't figure out how to make this runaway freight train slow down.   

I need to get in to see my counselor.  
I need to get my prescriptions refilled.  
I need to get the dog to the groomers.  
I need to clean my room.  And the living room.  And all the bathrooms.  And pretty much every room in the house is getting out of hand.  
My truck needs cleaned.  
The refrigerator is growing things...experiments.  
I need time to go to the grocery store.  

I think I need to cry...but I don't have time...we were given tickets to a Red Sox game tonight...they're playing the Cleveland Indians...and two kids are working...and one is off at a retreat.  Mom doesn't have time for a breakdown....

Nothing new to see here.  

Friday, May 20, 2016

Spoken Word.

Poetry is so much more powerful when it is spoken aloud.

Today I had the distinct honor to be included in a training with the Asian American Mental Health Forum in Boston, MA.  There were speakers and performers, and artists, and we were able to take part in workshops, and I came away with so very much information and I am still processing it.

The workshop I was able to take part in was on the Spoken Word, a poetry workshop, lead by Christina Chan, who is a playwrite, and Princess Moon, who is a performer of spoken word poetry.  We each wrote a piece based on our own identities.  I am going to share mine here.


I am a broken hurting child, parenting broken hurting children.
I am a princess and a slave, helping free my fellow slaves.
I am a traveler and a homebody, living vicariously through my traveling friends.
I am a painter, using words and color and thoughts.
I am a mother, grieving the mother I didn't have.
I am a healer, healing others while I heal myself.
I am educated, helping educate others about pain and trauma.
I am wife to the sailor and pastor.
I am majority and minority, German and Jew, Irish and Indian (Native American).
I am loved and lonely.
I am friendly and friendless.
I am a leader, following hard after my leader.